A Realistic Dream

So it’s 8:30 in the morning as I glance at the clock from a dazed state. I only went to bed a few hours ago. Excitement fills my head and heart today. I can hardly sleep. I try to go back to sleep and it seem successful for only a short 2 hours before glancing at the clock once again. Its 10:15 and I need to wake myself up. I’m not used to getting up this early. Typically I sleep to 1 or 2 in the afternoon, but today is a special day. I am but 1 hour and 45 minutes from true excitement. Today I get to hold a long lost friend in my arms once again!

Today the drive isn’t much different as I make my way north. My father used to live in the area I’m headed. I think the only difference is today I’m a little calmer as I enter the town. Usually when I drive up north I keep thoughts of running into her in the back of my mind and sometimes when I get close, I can feel my heart beat a little faster with many thoughts. But today it different, today I’m calm. It seems like a dream. I’m actually driving to see her, my best friend, my closest friend.

On and off I’d ponder my reaction should I ever meet her. Nothing came close. I’m 10 minutes early as I wait in the parking lot of Starbucks. I glance out my window and there she is, pulling up beside me one spot over. She’s actually here! This cannot be real! I have to be dreaming. My heart start to beat a little baster. I get out of my car and slowly walk to the curb. She gets out and looks at me. No, this is a dream! We slowly walk towards one another before bolting into each other’s arms.

I’m actually holding her in my arms and me in hers. Oh God how I have missed her. But this is real, she is here, in my arms. Joy, happiness and excitement fill me and I lift her off the ground and spin her. It was almost like an old 80’s movie. I have waited several years, and every thought I had of meeting up with her cannot pale in comparison to the feelings of that moment. The world seems to have stopped. This is the happiest I have been in years.

Only a few hours were managed with each other, but every minuet felt like a dream. Only in my dreams did we ever meet or sit close, or hug. Even now, I cannot believe this is real, but it is. I have missed you more than you could ever know and I am glad to be back and to have you in my life once again.

2012
01/28
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A Belated Greeting

It has been something like four or four and a half years since I’ve seen a very, very good friend of mine. That’s a long time considering I’m in my mid-twenties. We met back in high school, late sophomore year I believe and were friends for a little while after we graduated; err well after she did anyhow. Then life stepped in and being the suck that it can be, we went our own ways. Was a very say and dark day to begin saying the least of the least…

Four years… wow. So yeah, I found some of her art on line and was freak’n stoked, the “NO FUCKING WAY!”moments wrapped with a little bit of fear, anxiety, happiness, all that jazz. I sent her a note on her FA page… on Christmas of all days! We have been chatting since. I have not had a greater feeling of gaining back an old and very good friend.

So this coming weekend we finally get to meet in person for a few hours! A few phone self-photos are great, but in person is a whole new thing. Needless to say I’m so fucking excited!

You’re something special Fox! Cannot wait!

2012
01/24
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Loaf Burgers

So what is it? It’s like meatloaf but in burgers. Here’s what I did, still playing with what makes it really really good. So all you need is 1lb of 96 and 4 meat, 1/2 cup garlic bread crumbs and a large egg. Mix in the egg, bread crumbs and mean. Then shape and cook. Yup… pretty good.

2012
01/19
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Eh

Fuck it….

2012
01/08
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Greatest Gift

There are times when I have to stop and wonder about how things come to be, how they have come to pass, what I could have done better, what I should have done better. Whether the event is God lending a helping hand, a coincidence (freak or not), or a second chance. Once in a while I’ll ponder the riddles of my mind, trying to answer the questions asked during one of my, many, sleepless nights.

Four years ago a very good friend of mine and I went our own ways. It was a hard night. The shock tore at me. I kept asking myself “is this real? Did this just happen?!”. First anger took over quickly followed by sorrow. No one likes to lose a friend.  I value my friends as family, which strengthened the feelings tenfold. I don’t remember much about that night, and frankly I want to keep it that way.

Over the Christmas holyday I headed north to Avarada to visit family… and to help my dad move. Which, damnit dad! You had surgery on your shoulder, stop pushing yourself. Not that it’s going to kill you, but we already lost Grandma and Bill, may they rest. Saddy is probably won’t make it much longer too. Me thinks our family needs a break.

I was driving home Christmas day. I can’t remember what time it was, may have been 8 or 9. I was listening to Linking Park, My December. Not the Reanimation version, but the Hybrid Theory version. My mind started to drift, playing out scenes to the lyrics and melody. As I drifted she popped into mind. I muttered to myself, “If ever there was a Christmas miracle, it would be to see her again.”

I got home, and set my gifts aside, cracked open a soda and hit the net. I was checking out some art works when I came across one piece. The art style looked familiar, but I didn’t think much of it. Then I glanced at the artist name, and froze. My heard began to race. “What? Could it be?” I thought as I stared at the name. Slowly and hesitantly I moved my mouse and click the source link which took me to her FA page.

“Holly shit. It can’t be … can it?” My heart raced even faster. It was her! A long lost friend. Each second felt like an hour. I was asking myself, “Should I do it? Should I send her a note? It’s been four years, will she remember me? Did we go our own ways in anger? Should I do this??” A whispering yes echoed though my head. Out of all the gifts I have received, though out the years, this was the greatest.

2011
12/28
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WTF Image

I will come across some odd images now and again… like this one.

 

2011
12/27
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Custom Setup & Shit Eaters

So why go through the trouble of a custom web set up? Well… first you learn more and second it helps stop automated shit like this:

[24/Dec/2011:11:38:42 -0700] “GET /muieblackcat HTTP/1.1″ 404 168 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:38:48 -0700] “GET //index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:38:54 -0700] “GET //admin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:00 -0700] “GET //admin/pma/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:06 -0700] “GET //admin/phpmyadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:12 -0700] “GET //db/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:18 -0700] “GET //dbadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:24 -0700] “GET //myadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:30 -0700] “GET //mysql/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:36 -0700] “GET //mysqladmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:42 -0700] “GET //typo3/phpmyadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:48 -0700] “GET //phpadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:39:54 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:00 -0700] “GET //phpmyadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:06 -0700] “GET //phpmyadmin1/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:12 -0700] “GET //phpmyadmin2/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:18 -0700] “GET //pma/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:24 -0700] “GET //web/phpMyAdmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:30 -0700] “GET //xampp/phpmyadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:36 -0700] “GET //web/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:42 -0700] “GET //php-my-admin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:48 -0700] “GET //websql/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:40:54 -0700] “GET //phpmyadmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:00 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:06 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:12 -0700] “GET //php-my-admin/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:18 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.2.3/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:24 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.2.6/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:30 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.1/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:36 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.4/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:42 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.5-rc1/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:48 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.5-rc2/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:41:54 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.5/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:42:00 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.5-pl1/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:42:06 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.6-rc1/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:42:12 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.6-rc2/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:42:18 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.6/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:42:24 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.7/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”
[24/Dec/2011:11:42:30 -0700] “GET //phpMyAdmin-2.5.7-pl1/index.php HTTP/1.1″ 499 0 “-” “-”

Keep trying you butt fucking cock suckers!

If you’re going to put phpmyadmin in the root public domain directory, then you’re a fucking retard. I’m kinda wondering what they want to do, what commands they want to run, what queries they want to execute. I might have to make a few dummy pages and log all GET and POST requests.

Also thinking about writing a module that will see what the request is and if it matches some deny rules, then block the IP. Would be friggen kick ass to write this and send the IP to like a Cisco ASA for immediate denial.

It’s pretty sad that people have to be so dishonest. I mean what are you trying to gain from hacking my site? No one fucking reads it, just the occasional google and bing bot or a friend.

 

Fuck off you donkey raping shit eater!

2011
12/24
CATEGORY
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Mac Book Pro Heater

So at work I’m a Windows guy. I do ASP.NET and C#, with the occasional C++ program, but I have a Mac Book Pro 17″ 8 GB Ram. I’ll agree that Apple has good hardware, but this damn thing is literally more expensive than my AMD Quad Core 3.5, 16GB 460 GTX, 2x 1 TB HDD, 64GB SSD, Blu-Ray Burner and 1 DVD Burner (second drive) WITH a 30″ Monitor!

Any way, last week we had a few cold days here is Colorado. And our “Green” building was stingy on the heat. I swear, the cool the building down during the winter and heat it up in the summer. It’s fucking retarded. I work on the other side of the building where only 12-16 people work out of like 50, so it get’s pretty cold. Well knowing that Apple tries their damnedest to make their shit smaller and smaller, the Mac Book Pro get’s pretty got pretty fast. We’re talking right around 100-110F. It doesn’t burn if you keep you finger on the aluminum about be processor, but if you rub across it unexpectedly you might be like “ah, hot”.

Well I was waiting for a few things to finish up and in an attempt to warm my hands up a little I’d rub them together. Then I though “fuck this, I know how to warm up”. Yeah, and here’s how. Take a look at the c++ code below:

 

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#include <iostream>
#include <math.h>
 
using namespace std;
 
int main(char *argv[], int argc)
{
    unsigned char nLoop1 = 10;
    unsigned int nLoop2 = ~0;
    long long omg = (long long)nLoop1 * (long long)nLoop2;
 
    // 1,095,216,660,480
    //    42,949,672,960
    printf("Please wait while the heater warms up.\r\n");
    printf("We're only going to do %lld loops...\r\n", omg);
 
    for(unsigned char c = 0; c <nLoop1; c++)
    {
        for(long long k = 0; k < nLoop2; k++)
        {
            long long i = (k << 2) | c;
            double yay = sqrt((double)i);
        }
    }
 
    return 0;
}

 

Takes about 60 seconds for the CPU fan to really kick up. Hey Apple makes it sound like their computers are the shit and better than Windows, even though I’ve had my Mac Panic more times then I’ve had a W7 BSOD, not to mentions Poisons daily gallery of Kernal Panics. So I figure I’m just stress testing it. Oh and I’ve had so many weird issues with OSX that I had to start a native boot into windows instead of going through Fusion…

2011
12/08
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Back Up

I’m always playing around with my site. I’ve been looking into many solutions for hosting my own web server. I’ve been I’ve been playing with with a few applications to serve up the pages. Mainly IIS, Apache and Nginx. While the .NET framework is extremely powerful, I just don’t like jumping through hoops to get some shit working. I’ve been using Apache for a long time  and it’s a pretty solid system. But Nginx, I’m starting to like it. It’s very light weight, like under 6 MB. Creating a virtual server is pretty easy too. I’ve got it running with PHP using Fast CGI. I’ve also got MySql installing AND Microsoft T-SQL! Yes, I use MS SQL. Why? Because I feel I have more power using MS SQL over My SQL. Stored procedures and functions are easier to work with. It seems like you can run multiple statements easier. And it’s fast. Only down side is that you need a windows box to run it, however it’s a one time payment. For me it was like 100 bucks, because I’m running windows 7 home premium with Sql Express 2008 R2.

It’s an odd combination, but it works for me and should be good enough to build out other sites and host media content, which is what I’d like to get up and running.

2011
12/04
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